Mumma….how are you?

how are you

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Mumma….How are you? Yesterday was R U OK day? But this should be every day. How are you? Three little words that we use every day but when we say them do we really listen to the answer? Do we really say how we are? Or do we say “good thanks”,  “I’m fine” or something just the same?

To be totally honest, I have been struggling a lot lately. A lot is on my plate. A big smile often deceives people that all is OK and nothing is wrong. It feels like I am on a wagon and barely keeping everyone on and holding it all together. The pieces could fall off at any minute. I am taking it one day at a time right now.  That is all I can manage. But that is OK.

When people ask me lately my response is “getting there”. Which I feel is a bit more accurate.

The struggles are real though and I am not alone and I know it. How are you doing…..really?

I asked in our Community Hub closed Facebook group (you can join us too! click the link) this week – what is your biggest struggle right now as a parent?………I was blown away by the responses.

So how are you doing? Honestly check in with yourself. Does everything feel OK? In balance? As parents we juggle so many things and sometimes the busyness of life can sweep us away so fast we barely check in with ourselves and see how we are doing. We need to be OK within ourselves and filling our own cup before we are able to give enough to our loved ones.

So many of us are struggling. With so many different things. From our kids, our relationships, our circumstances. We can open up online in a Facebook group but to the friend or the person in the street who asks us “how are you?” Do we tell them the truth? Do we delve deeper into what we are really struggling with and finding difficult?

I have seen this going around online. It is so saddening but true.

someone hurting

We need to check in on each other more and ask how are you?

Or instead of these three little words that we get the triggered “I’m fine” response we could ask:

How are you going with looking after yourself?

Some days can be so challenging! Who are you talking to? Where are you getting support?

Motherhood/parenthood is challenging, but what still makes you smile or brings you joy?

While everything can seem overwhelming and hard, we can still look for the simple or smallest things that still bring us joy and be grateful for those things. Our mindset can make a huge difference so if we start focusing on the small little things they will soon be bigger happier things right around the corner.

This was another blog I wrote on my Overwhelming week – it has some great mottos that have gotten me through some challenging times. Read it here. The other thing I have found helping me lately is listening to meditation music at night time before I go to sleep. Switching off my phone, switching off social media and zoning out to the music.

If you or someone you know is suffering and needs help please contact Beyond Blue, the Black dog institute or other counselling services. There are many online resources available. You do not need to suffer. Be a good friend and call someone today and check in. How are you?

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