Why Every Mum should try Mother’s Group at least once

You might think that a Mother’s Group is a dated idea from pre-social media times when mums had no roles outside the home or wider support network to connect with, but joining a Mother’s Group can offer incredible benefits.

For many new mums, even those who went in skeptically, joining their Mother’s Group ended up being one of the best decisions they made, and a place to form lifelong friendships. I know I went along to Early birds with my first born and joined a Mother’s group from there. 8 years on we are still friends!

Mother’s Group

Why Every Mum should try at least once

Many expectant mums have viewed the idea of Mother’s Group with some trepidation. Do you really want to join one of those loud café huddles of prams, pop-tops and oversharing so the rest of the customers can hear?

You might think that a Mother’s Group is a dated idea from pre-social media times when mums had no roles outside the home or wider support network to connect with, but joining a Mother’s Group can offer incredible benefits.

For many new mums, even those who went in skeptically, joining their Mother’s Group ended up being one of the best decisions they made, and a place to form lifelong friendships.

For Mums in Darwin we have some great programs available to first time Mums and partners to meet other new parents. Early bird groups meet from birth up to the baby turning eight weeks old.

Early bird groups meet at Casuarina Library on Bradshaw Terrace every Wednesday 10am till 12 and also at Nylander Street Child Health clinic on Wednesdays 10am till 12 as well. These sessions are co-facilitated by a child and family health nurse.

Babies of Palmerston is run at the Palmerston clinic (Palmerston Health Precinct, corner Temple Terrace and Roystonea Av) in the multipurpose room every Wednesday 10 am till 12noon and is for babies up to 12 wks old.

From nine weeks onwards there is a Territory Parent Support (TPS) group at Casuarina Clinic or Nylander Clinic in Stuart Park.

territory parent support topics

Why you might be reluctant to try a Mother’s Group

You already have heaps of friends – you don’t need more

You are already popular and generally quite busy maintaining your current friendships – the last thing you need is more, right? You might already have heaps of friends and family members nearby with babies, so it doesn’t make sense to join an external Mother’s Group, it’s just another commitment.

You are busy and exhausted – you can’t be bothered

You might just want to sleep in any spare moments you have, or just collapse in a heap. You might hate the idea of having to put on a bra and outside clothes and running a brush through your hair. Your life is already so hard right now – why would you add to it?

You don’t want to run into all the mum clichés

You are probably certain you’ll run into all of those annoying mum clichés – the hippy mum who co-sleeps and toilet trains her own baby from birth; the hot mess mum with triplets whose kids are all named after cities and who yells and swears at everybody; the Insta-glam mum who looks like she stepped out of the salon and seems to have it completely together; the born-to-be-a mum mum who reminds you of a younger Martha Stewart and brings in baked goods for everybody.

You aren’t coping and don’t want to compare yourself to others

You might be struggling as a first-time mum with your special little bundle of joy – you may be keen to avoid other mums right now because you are worried you just won’t stack up. You already know that you suck at this, why go along to a group to have this theory confirmed by a bunch of super mum strangers?

Why Every Mum should try Mother’s Group at least Once

Compare your child at exactly the same milestones

Yes, you may already be surrounded by mums including your friends, sisters, in-laws and your own mother. But your Mother’s Group mums will be going through the exact baby milestones as you at the same time, and can give you special insight and, more importantly, peace of mind.

Even little things that hadn’t concerned you enough to call your own mum about, will get discussed in these weekly meetings, letting you know if what you and your baby are going through is normal. If your baby isn’t rolling yet, or hates tummy time or is obsessed with his private parts or is making some weird laughing noise in the middle of the night, you can check with these mums.

And you won’t get just one person’s opinion, there will be a group. At least one of the women is likely to say, ‘Yep, my baby does that too,’ and then you will know you are not alone.

Although I do say – trust your Mum instinct about milestones. If you are concerned with anything regarding your baby’s development always give your Child health nurse a call or drop into the Community care centres.

Get timely local tips

Even if you already have plenty of mums in your social network, the women in your Mother’s Group will be going through the exact same problems at the same time and in the same exact area as you. This is a wonderful place for tips and recommendations on doctors, hairdressers, babysitters, childcare, parks, cafes, gyms and much, much more.

If you are thinking of trying solid food or weaning your baby off the breast, these ladies will be going through it too, and will have great suggestions for products to try, local shops or tips to help.

These people are present and available

The mums in your Mother’s Group are of course busy, but they are all on maternity leave right now, stuck in a similar waking and sleeping schedule to you and live right nearby. They are there right when you need them to either text and ask questions, whinge and release stress, or drop by and hang out.

Practically they will be the most convenient people to lean on, and they won’t generally mind. Show them you are willing to reciprocate and everyone looks after each other.

These people just ‘get’ you

This is kind of like informal, free group therapy. You won’t have to put into words how you are feeling or what you are experiencing – these women will just ‘get’ it. They are living and breathing it all right now too. They are also first-time mums with no manual who are just trying to figure it all out, and they understand what you are going through in every sense.

You will likely feel at ease with this group quicker than any other group of people you have met in your life, and they will be the easiest group that you spend time with right now.

They aren’t friends or family

This group of women can provide a great place to vent and debrief without it getting back to other family members or friends. You may want to talk about problems that you’ve had with your family and friends since you became a mum, or issues with your parenting style.

Here you can speak freely and not worry about offending people close to you. You can also talk about embarrassing problems, and things you are struggling with or self-conscious about, that you may not feel comfortable discussing with people you see more often.

Mums can always use a wider support network

So what if you already have a great group of supportive friends and family – why would you limit yourself to that? Raising little people is one of the hardest, most constant and exhausting tasks you can undertake. You should always be looking to build a wider support network so that when you need someone, if the first person can’t help then you can try another friend.

As your kids get older and you all go back to work and then school starts you will need this wider support network, trust me.

What’s the worst that can happen?

You might hear stories about women who tried their Mother’s Group and hated it, or who are no longer in touch, so what was the point? It is true you may go along and not really connect with anyone there.

But that is the worst that can happen. The chance that you might try something and make no friends is well worth the risk when you compare it with all of the benefits you could receive if it goes well. It is worth the try, and most likely you will be so glad that you did.

Also don’t forget to join us over in the Community Hub Facebook group and connect with other Darwin Mums! Please leave us a comment if you found this blog helpful and don’t forget to hit share on Facebook!

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