The best lesson I have learnt in Motherhood – there are so many lessons. Families and friends are pretty special. But Mothers are AMAZING!! I am blessed with an amazing supportive Mum who is hands on with my four children. I know not everyone is lucky enough to have their families here in Darwin. Actually majority don’t. Read on to see what I have found to be the best lesson I have learnt in Motherhood.
See I grew up in Darwin and then stayed on after high school and uni and into my 20’s. When we were considering starting our family we choose to stay in Darwin because of both our families were here. And thank goodness we did that because fast forward 21 months and we had a toddler and twin newborns!! Yes we had 3 babies under 2. We needed all the family support we could get!
So what happens when you don’t have your family around for support?
What we need in place of family support is a village, a network and the ability to accept help. It is often said it takes a village to raise a child. We need to find our villages or create them. We need to support one another and offer help where we can.
I have a wide network of friends, old friends with kids, Mother’s groups/playgroups, school Mums, daycare Mums and my own Mum. Creating these network of Mum friends helps establish your village and support network.
The best lesson I have learnt in Motherhood is to accept help.
And lately I have been accepting a lot of help. We think asking for help is a sign of weakness and that being self-reliant is the key to success. But the opposite is true: Realising we cannot do something and everything all the time, asking for help or accepting help shows both humility and strength.
Over the weekend my Mum mowed my lawns for me – bless her. A job that was getting shuffled down the priority list and never getting done. She came over and announced I am mowing your lawns. Keeping a household going, juggling Darwin Family Life and four young kids, 24/7 pretty much on my own….when she offers to do this – I thank her.
I don’t think words will ever be enough to express my gratitude and how thankful I am to my Mum…..
Many years ago now, my Mum moved in to live with us when I was 28 weeks pregnant with my twins (now over 6 years ago!), because my OB had warned me to slow down or I will have my babies premature. At the time I was working full time, juggling the housework and running a household and also looking after a toddler. Then my toddlers daycare centre closed down. I was meant to finish full time work to rest and take it slower not look after an energetic demanding toddler full time….So my Mum moved in to help take care of my daughter and me. My Mum is always there and supporting my kids and I where ever she can.
Then the other week a close friend from my first Mums group – now nearly 8 years ago…dropped around a baked dinner a Mexican lasagne. All ready to pop in the oven to heat and serve. It was a thoughtful gesture and on a day I needed that extra help….she had made a double batch and lives in the same suburb so she just brought it round. So grateful for friends like this.
The close school Mum friend (we used to actually work together before kids as well), who offers to mind a child when I have to juggle kids appointments and the such. Or just to come around for a drink and let the kids burn their energy in the pool or playing. Happy kids are busy kids and more the merrier with our tribes together. We need like minded Mums in our village!
The amazing friend who knew one of my kids was sick and I needed to get to the chemist but hadn’t. She drove to 3 different chemists to get the tablets my daughter needed. Then offered to bring them around with wine and chocolate because she knew I had had a tough couple of days! So grateful for this friend at a time I needed the extra help.
As Mothers and women we often don’t ask or accept help. The best lesson I have learnt in Motherhood is to accept the help offered to me. Accepting help is truly a sign of strength. Find your village, create a village and accept the help offered. It will make your life easier and you will have support and a network when you really need one. We have the Darwin Family Life Community Hub Facebook group which is a fantastic online hub which you can join too and connect with other Darwin parents. It is great to see the support given and it was shown lately when one particular member reached out for help.